Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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