Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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