My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
