I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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