Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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