Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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