Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
this boner is exhausting
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
