btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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