I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize