I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
