Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
