you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
