He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
