This is not my ceiling
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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