The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
