You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
