at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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