I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
