This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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