i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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