Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
