Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
