My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
