Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
