Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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