Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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