just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
