If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
