Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize