I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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