he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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