I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
