Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
