I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize