Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
