The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
