I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
