it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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