I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
