He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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