I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
