# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
