Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
did i just pee glitter
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
