ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
