I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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