Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
