I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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