In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
