ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
