Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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