He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
