Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
