I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
