I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize