You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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