Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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