Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
