My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
