his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
