Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
