And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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