Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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