Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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