If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you would pick up someone in the library
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
