so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
