And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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