The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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