i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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