Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
