My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Randomize