I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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